Peace out, bitches

He’s officially here. H8torade II arrived this morning around 8am.  I snapped this pic of him throwing up the deuce as he rolled out to the nursery.

I’m posted up in the hospital until Thursday so I may be able to drop some posts every now and then.  I should of had a guest blogger fill in for me, but there is no telling what you fuckers would do to the blog while I’m gone.

It was only a matter of time before this whole story went from “Tiger in a serious car accident” to “Tiger beaten by his wife”.

Allegedly.

Word on the street is that Tiger was teeing off on the chick below named Rachel Uchitel.

He met her at a party and supposedly offered to show her a good “golf grip”. Nice play, Tiger.

I understand that banging your supermodel wife Elin Nordegren can get old sometimes, but if the rumors are true that you were playing the 19th green with Rachel, then your wife is about to clean out that bank account.

The National Enquirer breaks the story on Tiger and this chick. Then yesterday at 2:00am, Tiger decides to leave his house and play bumper cars with a fire hydrant and a tree.

When the po arrived on the scene, Tiger’s wife was standing over him and taking care of him until paramedics arrived. She told the police that she smashed out the window to get Tiger out of the Escalade. He had a bloody lip and scratches on his face according to the police report.

TMZ is reporting that there wasn’t any blood inside the car, the airbags didn’t deploy, and that the back windshield was smashed out. So how did he get those marks on his face?

Later that day, someone who spoke with Tiger came forward and said that Tiger’s wife confronted him about the alleged affair and clawed the shit out of his face – he jumped in the Escalade and she got a good swing at the back of the window and busted it as he was leaving.

The cops have tried to interview Tiger twice since the accident and he has turned them away both times. You better get your ass in front of a mic and start talking or else this shit is going to look worse then it already does.

When it comes to applying the infamous “i’d hit it” tag – I can’t pick one – so I’d knock both out.

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It’s that time of the year again….clips are slowly starting to make their way onto YouTube……

Digital billboards are going up all over the place. You no longer have to rely on a guy to climb 50ft up a ladder to hang the latest shitty company advertisement.

And now that Twitter is around, you can actually stream the latest news updates. That’s cool and all, but not when you lead with a story about a gang rape involving three people, and you put your news anchors right next to the story caption.

Good shit.

(FNC)

Just so you all know, the blog may not get much love for the next couple days. I gave my wife the best 2 minutes of her life about 9 months ago and the next thing you know – she’s pregnant.

Tonight, she was having some contractions at the house and I wasn’t about to let her destroy our new sofa, so off to the hospital we went. I’m not trying to deliver a baby, placenta, etc….my luck, the dog would come over and think the placenta is a treat.

We’re at the hospital now. The best part is that we get to sit here so that they can “monitor” her. If she dilates anymore then we are looking at a 1:30am surgery to yank the boy out.

So go back through the archives if you need your tits and ass fix for a bit. There should be plenty there to keep you busy.

Enjoys using the turkey baster…..

It’s time to give thanks. Thankful for family. Thankful for friends. Thankful for football. Thankful for boobs.

Really what I am most looking forward to in the next couple days are the YouTube videos that will be going up of people throwing haymakers on Black Friday. Let’s not try to get anyone killed this year……

Not too bad.  The coaches reaction at the :11 second mark is pretty priceless.

via WithLeather