Or he probably won’t feel a thing based on how much acid he dropped.  Good extension with the arms – should have kept his legs a little straighter.  I give him a 8.3.

(Huffington Post) Natural Nails in Dekalb County, Georgia added a rather interesting and apparently discriminatory surcharge onto one client’s bill: $5 for being overweight. WSB TV reports that salon manager Kim Tran told customer Michelle Fonville that the extra money was to pay for the $2,500 pedicure chair should it break, since it has a weight capacity of 200 pounds. Ultimately, Tran waived the $5 fee…and also told Fonville not to come back.

This weight policy is nothing new. Southwest Airlines makes you pay for two seats if your fat ass can’t get into one. And I don’t want to hear about your thyroid condition or any other bullshit excuse. Put the fork down…hit the treadmill…and quit being fat.

And buy a dress that fits.

I don’t handle motion sickness very well. Watching this video didn’t help any. The wave at 1:06 would of had me changing my pants. And not because they would have gotten wet from the waves, but instead from the colossal amount of shit that would have ran out of my ass.

Dad should of had mom ass up face down biting on that pillow. Just wait until she goes to school and tells her teacher what she heard. You’ve got to play those slow jams in the background to help mute our the sounds your woman makes as you lay the wood.

thx TeeRoy

I’ve used one of these before on my old house but didn’t pull up anywhere near the amount of shit that this guy did. Years worth of baby batter, pubic hair, and ass cheese just minding their own business until this guy decided to dig it up. You might want to mix in some Draino™ once a month just to keep your pipes clean.

CHARLESTON, W.Va. – A Kanawha County man was in jail this morning after allegedly being caught masturbating in public.

Once they got to the park, they allegedly found 61-year-old Eddie Manuel Campbell of Witcher Creek Road sitting on a park bench in plain view of passing motorists, Crosier said. Campbell allegedly had one arm around a mannequin and was touching himself with the other.

I see what Eddie was thinking. Here he is minding his own business as he walks down the street and this sexy ass mannequin is throwing herself at him. He pops a couple Viagra™ and just takes her to pound town at the local park. Look at how fine they are making mannequins these days….

Big ass and tits….fuck having a head. I think that’s where I went wrong. I should have gone down Eddie’s path. The headless mannequin doesn’t talk back….doesn’t ever say they are “too tired” to give it up….don’t nag…..and just lay in bed waiting for you to give them the dick.

I’m off to Macy’s…..

Radhakant might have inspired me to get into the Guiness Book of World Records™. People are in there for longest toenails, fingernails, and all sorts of other weird shit. I wonder if there is a category for “longest taint hairs”. I’ve got my eyes on the prize…….

You want to blow that Vuvuzela in my ear then I’ll drop a deuce right on the living room floor. The worst part is that shit was pure liquid – time to break out the shampoo vac.

(CNN)South African Dr. Sonnet Ehlers was on call one night four decades ago when a devastated rape victim walked in. Her eyes were lifeless; she was like a breathing corpse. “She looked at me and said, ‘If only I had teeth down there,’” recalled Ehlers, who was a 20-year-old medical researcher at the time. “I promised her I’d do something to help people like her one day.”

Forty years later, Rape-aXe was born.

The woman inserts the latex condom like a tampon. Jagged rows of teeth-like hooks line its inside and attach on a man’s penis during penetration, Ehlers said.

Once it lodges, only a doctor can remove it — a procedure Ehlers hopes will be done with authorities on standby to make an arrest.

“It hurts, he cannot pee and walk when it’s on,” she said. “If he tries to remove it, it will clasp even tighter… however, it doesn’t break the skin, and there’s no danger of fluid exposure.”

I can already see women using this for other things besides preventing rape. This looks like something your wife, girlfriend, mistress, etc…might throw inside to get you back for cheating on them. I can see it now. Your old lady found you sending some sexy text messages to another chick (ala Tiger) and instead of blowing up on the phone she is naked on the bed when you get home. You don’t know it yet but she’s slid one of these on and your dick is about to be put into the jaws of life.

This chick is going to give it a try and go head first…..do they make one for your tongue?