(TigerWoods.com) - McGuireWoods LLP, counsel for Elin Nordegren and Sasser, Cestero and Sasser P.A., counsel for Tiger Woods, make the following announcement:

Elin Nordegren and Tiger Woods confirmed today that they have divorced. Judgment was entered today in Bay County (Florida) Circuit Court dissolving the marriage. The Judgment provides for shared parenting of their two children.

Ms. Nordegren and Mr. Woods issued this joint statement:

Word is that she got between $100-500 million out of Tiger.  Not a bad payday.  Elin, if you are reading this, hit me up.  We just happen to share the same birthday and now that you have $500 million in the bank, you won’t have to worry about me cheating on you like that loser Tiger did.  I’ll bang it out everyday and twice on Sunday’s.

My wang is so confused right now. The shaft wants to burrow all the way in there but the head is telling me that I’d be better off going to Spankwire and finishing the job myself. Less chance of disease and my cock won’t come out smelling like pickle juice.

37 years old and body is still bangin’. And to think that Jim Carrey got to spread his seed all over that for 5+ years.

I’d hit it.

I’ve got to start paying more attention to the dimes over in the U.K. Sophie here showcased her talents on the U.K. version of Big Brother. An automatic way to make it on this blog is to rock the underboob and she does a pretty solid job of it.

Orlando, FL – University of Central Florida head coach George O’Leary told the Orlando Sentinel this afternoon that he was the one who granted access to a UCF locker room for a magazine photo shoot featuring a Playboy Playmate.

“I approved the magazine,” O’Leary told a Sentinel reporter after practice ended Saturday. “The guy called my office and basically wanted to know if they could do a magazine shoot. There was a UCF girl who had her MBA and all that. And the only thing I asked is, ‘Is that a magazine that is distributed on campus?’ And they said, ‘Yes.’ They’ve done I think four, since I’ve been here at least four, initial copies of football [previews] opening up the football season.”

What’s good enough for Coach O’Leary is good enough for me. People are all bent out of shape that she was in there taking pictures – who fucking cares. It’s not like she was letting the football team run a train on her.

Is there video? You bet your ass…..

I’d eat off that football for the next 20 years.

Gemma is a 25 year old English actress from England with an impressive set of +2′s. I have to admit that I wasn’t sure who the hell she was – not that it’s all that important. Rest assured that she will be put into the rotation from here on out….

Lady Gaga decided to go crowdsurfing at Lollapalooza in Chicago over the weekend and pulled out her Sunday best to do so. Sheer top and bottom with stars over her nipples, she almost gives the guy at the :47 second mark a slice of hairpie. He’s acting like he won the lottery – he better go take a bath in Clorox.™

Vid is probably NSFW…..

Hide ya kids…..hide ya wife!

I knew that Khloe was a tall broad, but she looks like she has a whole foot over her sisters. I wonder if Lamar makes her put on a Luke Walton wig so that he can practice his inside game on her, because she’s big enough to play NBA ball.

Kourtney has been getting alot of love for the way that she bounced back after having her baby. Now that she is officially a MILF, it’s time to vote for which one of these ladies gets the attention of your trouser snake.

If given the option – you can only bang one. Who gets the dick?

[poll id="12"]

Just add these to the original Sophie Turner Appreciation Thread™. I’d drink a cup of her bath water any day of the week.