The “real” job is taking me to Denver today and I’m already kicking myself in the ass for booking a 6:45am flight. Going through security should be a breeze, unless the TSA Gangstaz are in rare form and want to strip search everyone. Language is definitely NSFW….oldie but a goodie.

One thing I won’t be doing in Denver is pissing off the local P.D. They’ve been in the news lately for dropping some stiff right hands on citizens…..

and apparently it is illegal in Denver to talk on the phone as someone is getting cuffed….

Boom! fucking headshot and down you go. I may just stay in my room, order some porn, and call it a night.

Bronx, NY – Call him Mr. Opportunity. JetBlue flight attendant Steven Slater was still basking in the spotlight Wednesday and pondering his next move. “One door closes, another one opens,” he said as he left a bail bondsman’s office in Queens.

Slater, who lives in Queens, spent the night in an Upper East Side apartment after being bailed out of jail. When he left the Vernon C. Bain Center in Hunts Point, the Bronx, on Tuesday night, he said he was shocked by his folk-hero status.

I’m glad to see that the FAA updated their emergency exit procedures. This should make exiting the plane much easier on passengers and keep them hydrated during the process.

thx JVINE

Flying up to San Francisco this morning to do a demo for a current customer on Thursday. Nothing like flying up a day early to fuck around and see the city a little bit – all on the company dime.

Any spots that you guys recommend to get my eat on at? Preferably someplace where the scenery is nice…..I may go and stalk out a couple Niner cheerleaders….didn’t realize they had so many dimes….most likely leftover Raiderette’s that weren’t good enough to put on the Silver and Black™.

Go ahead….touch my meat.

I’m posted up at the airport right now waiting for my flight back to Kansas City. I get to spend a week back at Corporate™ reminding them that I live in San Diego and they don’t – should be fun.

I’m going from 70 degrees and no humidity to 85 and a fucking sauna. But, I’ve got quite a few friends back in KC so it will be nice to see everyone again.

Updates might be a little slow during the day, but I’ll post when I can. You know the drill….hit up the blogroll or spank your way through the “random hottie” drops…..

As you read this, I’m on I-5 North most likely cursing at these idiot drivers heading up to Los Angeles from San Diego for work. Gonna spend today and tomorrow up here for a demo and will be shacked up at the JW Marriott L.A. Live.

Lakers aren’t playing….Dodgers have the day off…..I’m going to be stuck walking up and down the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

I’ve been back in San Diego now for about a month and I should have moved back sooner. The weather is ridiculous, the women are on fire, oh, and did I mention the women are on fire? My head is on a constant swivel as I drive around the city.

Now I get to remember how good I’ve got in when I fly back to Kansas City today for a wedding this weekend. I’m going from 70 degree weather to 90′s and humidity – and fine ass dime pieces to bloated half dollars.

So that means the blog may not get much love until Sunday. Hit up the archives or send me a link with some shit that you’d like to see on here. More of you have been doing it lately….appreciate you guys looking out!

Meet Rolando Negrin. He worked as a TSA agent at Miami International Airport and as part of a training exercise was told to go stand in the new x-ray machine.

Co-workers apparently were standing behind the monitor when he did and started making jokes about the size of his penis, and not in a good way, and Rolando apparently didn’t take too kindly to that.

He confronted one of the people talking down on his junk and smacked them around with a police baton. He’s been suspended pending an investigation.

I’m on a plane about 3 times a month and I’ve been through these xray scanners. I’ve declined it once and was wanded up, down, left, and right by a TSA who had a bad case of the ghey the one time I refused to go through it.

What’s interesting is that when you do go through it, they have you stand off to the side and the TSA agent radios in “male” or “female” after you’ve gone through. So obviously, they are able to make out someone’s package to verify their sex. I may just whip it out the next time I have to go through the full body scanner just to cut down on the suspense.

My time in Kansas City is about to come to and end. The movers are here at the house packing my shit up and we will be on the road and San Diego bound in about 2 hours. Gonna make a couple stops on the way – our road trip is looking like this:

Salina, KS –> Denver, CO –> Cedar City, UT –> San Diego, CA

There is no way that I can make the drive straight-thru, especially with a 6 year old and a 5 month old in the car. If I did, I’d have to burn up a gallon of Jack & Coke™ just to keep my sanity.

Blog content might be a little light for the next 3-4 days as I drive 1700 miles. I’ll try and update it when I can – in the meantime, hit the blogroll or wack off to the random hotties posts.

Headed to New Orleans until Thursday night. I’m definitely stopping by Drago’s for some charbroiled oysters and am looking for some women who are down to flash the goods for some $2.00 beads.

I’m on a plane pretty much every week (typing this from LAX) and I read yesterday that Spirit Airlines was going to charge people up to $45 dollars for their carry-on bags. I sent them this tweet….

and of course they didn’t respond. But it does look like one airline is going to do so. Ryanair, based out of Ireland, is thinking about charging around $1.33 to use the shitter on their planes.

I’ve got a big problem with both of these fees. I’m going to tell you now that if I have to pay to use the restroom then I am going to get my monies worth. I’m gonna wreck that bathroom so bad that you’ll have to call in hazmat to clean it up. And a big fuck you to Spirit Airlines on the carry-on bag fee. Their whole thought it that it will force people to travel lighter. It’s gonna force guys like this to just layer on a weeks worth of clothing….

idiots.