(HuffPost) – An offshore oil rig exploded in the Gulf of Mexico on Thursday, west of the site of the April blast that caused the massive oil spill. A commercial helicopter company reported the blast around 9:30 a.m. CDT Thursday, Coast Guard Petty Officer Casey Ranel said. Seven helicopters, two airplanes and four boats were en route to the site, about 80 miles south of Vermilion Bay along the central Louisiana coast. The Coast Guard said initial reports indicated all 13 crew members from the rig were in the water. One was injured, but there were no deaths. The platform owned by Mariner Energy is in about 2,500 feet of water, the Coast Guard said, and was not currently producing.

The Gulf Coast™ can’t catch a break. You know BP has to be doing a backflips over this shit right now. Gets their name out of the news for a couple days.

You found someone to marry you?

Chelsea Clinton and Marc Mezvinsky got married today in Rhinebeck, NY at a 50 acre estate known as Astor Courts. What the hell was this guy thinking? Yeah, it would be cool to have Bill as your father-in-law – but that’s about it. Now you’ve got to go home and strap on The Accommodator™ and lay pipe to Chelsea all night long. He better have a pretty decent porn collection going because he is going to need some help to “get it up”. Sorry, Chelsea Clinton just doesn’t do anything to get my penis in a state where it needs to be to perform. I’m sitting here thinking that this guy is actually looking her in the eyes as he pounds away at it on his wedding day – and has to be thinking of someone else while he does it.

More importantly, I wonder if Hillary passed along any of her oral skill tips n tricks….

Not bad form. One hand on the shaft and the other paying close attention to the boys. I give it a solid 9 out 10.

I’m pretty close to moving to the great state of Tennessee just so I can cast my vote for Basil Marceaux. I took a look at his website and this is a man that has the peoples interest at heart.

His website is pure genius. Some of the things you can count on Basil to fix if he is elected Governor:

* See why dental is not in most plans a tooth aches hurt more than a back aches and no teeths depresses people
* School violents

That’s word-for-word from his website……

The local Tennessee affiliate gave him some airtime so that he could get his message out. This guy is a fucking lock for Governor. Then it’s on to the White House™!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go plant some grass so that I can turn it into gas and sell it back to California…….

You’ve got to pull the “tuck it under the belt” move when you know your sportin’ wood. Guy guys full blast and has no shame showing Palin what he’s working with.  He definitely is a fan of the stimulus package…..

The Prez might want to sound proof his bedroom or have Michelle bite that pillow a little harder when he’s knockin’ the bottom out of it…..his own kids are afraid to come into the master bedroom.

Go ask your mother.

Hank Johnson (D-GA) recently raised some “concerns” about increased troop levels in Guam and wanted to make sure that Guam doesn’t tip over and capsize….like it’s the fucking Titanic™

There are 175,000 people living in Guam – adding an additional 8,000 troops in Guam isn’t going to send it crumbling into the ocean.

And let’s not forget about the coral reefs…..

thx to Madvlad

Former President of the U.S. of A George Bush was in Haiti a while back with Bill Clinton and was shaking hands with a group of Haitians and decided that the back of Bill’s shirt made for a nice hand sanitizer.

To be fair, Bill is pretty much use to akward public stains……

I’m all for getting some girls together and going skinny dipping. There is a 99% chance that something may evolve from that outing and lead to you knocking it out either in the pool or back at your place.

What probably isn’t such a good idea is having a 15 year old girl go skinny dipping with you – when at the time you were 28.

Utah’s House majority leader said late Thursday he paid a woman $150,000 to keep silent about going nude “hot-tubbing” with her when she was a minor a quarter century ago.

In a statement on the House floor, (R) Kevin Garn, 55, said he paid her to keep quiet about the incident during his unsuccessful U.S. congressional bid in 2002, but did not have sexual contact with her.

You know who else said that and ended up getting caught?

The chick involved in the story, Cheryl Maher, had this to say about the whole thing:

This has just been a nightmare for me,” Maher said in a telephone interview with the newspaper from New Hampshire. “I just want to tell the truth because it’s part of the healing process for me.

The healing process started when he cut you a check for $150,000. Sounds like someone is just looking for their 15 minutes of fame.

Michelle Obama, can you confirm that Barack is packin’?

Damn. Maybe Republicans should fear that shit….

Stop me if you’ve heard this before. Republican member of Congress gets drunk at a gay bar and jumps in his vehicle…gets pulled over with an unidentified man in his car….in a search of his state issued vehicle, the police find: Portable potty chair, several crucifixes, amyl nitrate bottles, cocaine, and bondage equipment…..allegedly.

PARTY TIME!

The married father of 4 kids had this to say:

I am deeply sorry for my actions and offer no excuse for my poor judgment,” Ashburn said. “I accept complete responsibility for my conduct and am prepared to accept the consequences for what I did. I am also truly sorry for the impact this incident will have on those who support and trust me – my family, my constituents, my friends, and my colleagues in the Senate.

Queue the press conference with his wife by his side in 3….2…..1….