Put some headphones on…..

Lil H8ter™, who is 6, is always begging me to let him play. I throw him the controller every now and then, but I never let him put the headphones on because I’m not ready for him to start expanding his vocab.

She’s going to make a great truck driver when she gets older with a mouth like that. That is until she drops an n-bomb on the wrong chick and gets knocked the fuck out.

(ABC News) – An Ohio truck driver whose laptop computer was streaming pornography when his rig hit a disabled car on the New York State Thruway has been sentenced to three-to-nine years in prison for killing the other driver. Thomas Wallace of Brook Park, Ohio, pleaded guilty in May to second-degree manslaughter. Authorities say he’d slept no more than four of the 27 hours before the Dec. 12 crash that killed Julie Stratton, a 33-year-old mother of two.

How the fuck did he expect to stay awake after rubbing one out while driving. Post bust, I’m asleep within 30 seconds. Out like a light. And he obviously doesn’t care about Mexican babies…..

Digital Journal) – When a cow died, leaving a three-day-old calf an orphan, an Indian woman decided to raise the animal by breastfeeding it herself.  Chouthi Bai, who lives in Kilchu village, Rajasthan, breastfeeds the calf, who is now more than a month and a half old, three or four times a day. “After her mother died, I held her in my arms and breastfed her. I nurtured her by feeding her my milk,” she said when speaking to a Reuters reporter. “She was so young when the cow died. For me there is no difference between a calf and an infant,” she said. The calf, who follows Bai closely, is also fed bread and grass. “I feed her three-four times in a day, the same amount an infant requires in a day,” Bai added. “Sometimes we have to feed her bread. We give her water to drink and slowly she will grow on this diet. So, even in my absence she is fed. She will grow up eating grass. The gods will be pleased if I raise her.”

The entrepreneur in me wants to snatch up every domain possible that has to do with lactating Indian women and cows. Surely there has to be a market for this kind of thing.

Vid below is NSFW, unless your employer doesn’t mind you watching a cow suck on a hindu womans tit.

(WMUR) - A 58-year-old man was arrested Saturday after police said he used binoculars to watch two teenage girls at a car wash fundraiser in Pelham. Police said they found Richard Mello seated in his vehicle in an empty parking lot near the Congregational Church on Main Street with a direct line of sight to two young girls who were working at a car wash fundraising event. Mello told officers that he had been watching the girls — later determined to be 13 and 15 years old — through his binoculars while sitting in his car, according to police news release. Mello was arrested for loitering and causing public alarm with his suspicious behavior, according to the news release.

Creepy. Yes. Illegal. No. How the fuck do you get arrested for looking at girls through a pair of binoculars? I don’t see anything in the story that said he was exposing or playing with his trouser snake. Looks like the terrorists have won if you can no longer sit in your car and stare at some young trim. So I’ll just bring the trim to you….

A couple tips for this guy. I would suggest that he maybe chains himself to an elliptical for 2-3 weeks and finds some shorts that fucking fit. My eyes can’t take anymore of this crap. No way this guy is being serious – I’m going to go out on a limb and say someone dared him to do this for the lulz.

(The Local)Sweden’s highest court has refused to hear a last-ditch plea by the Madonna of the Orgasm church to be recognized. The church, in Lövestad in southern Sweden, has been fighting a lengthy battle to be registered as a faith community in Sweden, but Sweden’s Supreme Administrative Court (Regeringsrätten) said there were no grounds to appeal a Court of Appeal decision to reject the application. The church’s Spanish founder and self-appointed cardinal, Carlos Bebeacua, has said that he believes that the orgasm is God and should be worshipped. Beceacua once told tabloid Kvällsposten:

“The orgasm is the ultimate feeling of lust, it shouldn’t be limited to ejaculation. You can reach it through art or by looking at a landscape and thinking ‘Wow!’”

I’m guessing things get “out of hand” pretty quick at that church. Better bring a raincoat…..

Sign #1 that you have too many kids?  When you have a hard time remembering all their names.  From HBO’s Hard Knocks:

Did I hear that he had three kids that were all 3 years old? That’s one hell of a threesome…..

Listen, no one is a fan of “pulling out”, but you’ve got to explore some options before you start making a run at Shawn Kemp’s record.  Maybe mix it up a bit in the bedroom and play the back 9….take a trip down dirt road….or maybe invest in some Ochocinco condoms…..

He’s probably hoping that one of these days he can break out the Maury Povich Paternity Dance™:

$omeone is about to get PAID. Since when is it alright to choke a guy to the point where his face turns purple? According to the YouTube comments, the guys didn’t hear the alarm go off as he left the store and security went all MMA on his ass once they stopped him. His buddy tried to get to his bag to show that he had a receipt but was denied access to it.

Even if he did take something – is it really worth it to choke them our over a $20 dollar shirt? You’ve got to love mall security. They think they are real cops until that ass gets sued then they are back to flipping burgers at McD’s.