I’ve never wanted something to be so true before in my life. This would just be the icing on the cake for the Kardashian clan. We all know that the Enquirer has been known to stretch the truth, but you don’t need 20/20 vision to see that Khloe is just “built” a little different than her sisters. Kim and Kourtney are built like cheerleaders and Khloe is more like a middle linebacker. Could OJ’s Heisman Seed™ be the reason that Khloe can bench press 400lbs?

Let’s break down the Kardashian clan…..

Kris Jenner. Momma Kardashian. Is she using the same plastic surgeon that Michael Jackson was? It’s hard to compare noses with Khloe due to all the fucked up plastic surgery she’s had and at this rate she’ll be rocking the M.J. surgeons mask around town if she doesn’t stop going under the knife.

Robert Kardashian. Defended OJ during his trial. Died from cancer at the age of 59. Has probably rolled over in his grave 1/2 million times after seeing what his family has turned into.

Kim Kardashian. What a great story. Started off hanging around Paris Hilton. Met Ray-J and he filmed himself smashing her cheeks from the back then sold it to a porn company. Kim gets famous for laying there and taking loads to the face and the rest is history. A true entrepreneur. Looking forward to the day that a kid falls out of her vagina and mommy gets to explain how she became famous. Google doesn’t lie. Check our her nose – straight from her dads mold.

Kourtney Kardashian. Certified MILF. You look at her and Kim and you know they are sisters. Same nose…same hair….equals same daddy.

Khloe Kardashian. Now here is where things get interesting. Check the nose. Much flatter than both of her sisters. Oh, and you’re about 6 inches taller than the rest of your family.

And then you put all three together and it’s a game of “which one doesn’t belong”….someone ain’t telling the truth!

I’ve narrowed it down to two potential matches…..

The Juice™. Probably the luckiest man walking the planet. I remember being in high school watching him put on that black glove that didn’t fit. Bet the prosecution wishes they could turn back the hands of time and never ask him to put that glove on. They lost that case the second the glove only went halfway up his hand. My trained eye took a look at OJ’s profile and I could see where maybe, just maybe, his seed is responsible for that 5ft 10in beast known as Khloe Kardashian.

Chewbacca. Tell me there aren’t similarities. Maybe it’s in the eyes?

And of course the only way to put this to rest is to get them all on Maury Povich and have him announce who the real father is….

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I like a nice pair of kicks, but I’m not camping out overnight to drop $200 into The G.O.A.T’s pockets.

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Crazy bitch left her damn kids in the car for a pair of fucking shoes! Time to sew her vagina shut. Can’t wait until their kids Google moms name only to find this story.

The only way I’m running like that is if I know Kim Kardashian is inside that mall butt nekkid waiting for my dick. It’s like Black Friday on crack when M.J. has a new pair of shoes come out.

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I wonder if people would riot like that today if Payless was to bring back XJ9000′s and Pro Wings?

TMZ – Kim Kardashian will file for divorce this morning, after 72 days of not-so-wedded bliss to Kris Humphries … TMZ has learned. We’re told even though the marriage was short, she will not seek an annulment. It’s a garden variety divorce, in which Kim cites “irreconcilable differences.” We’re told the date of separation is listed as today, Oct. 31, 2011. Kim has hired disso-queen Laura Wasser, who has repped the likes of Britney Spears, Maria Shriver, Angelina Jolie, Ryan Reynolds, and Robyn Gibson, Mel’s almost ex-wife. As we first reported, the couple has a prenuptial agreement … Kim made sure of that. Rumors of a split had been swirling for some time and the two were spotted out to dinner earlier this week … looking less than pleased with one another.

This shit was doomed from the start. Pretty sure Kris got caught up in the booty of Kim and was blinded by it and thought he could turn a hoe into a housewife. Kris, she’s only famous for taking massive loads to the face and you thought it was smart to wife her? Just keep her around and knock the backside out of it. Instead, you had to go thru with the wedding and end up looking like a little bitch on her reality show.

Looking forward to the chants of “Kim Kardashian” every time Kris goes to shoot a free throw.

Fox News – In a development that will shock almost no one, Kim Kardashian’s two-month old marriage to basketball star Kris Humphries is reportedly on the rocks. The former New Jersey Nets player was photographed on Thursday, strapped with moving boxes and a suitcase, leaving the New York City hotel that he shares with his wife. What’s more, RadarOnline.com reports that Humphries was NOT wearing his wedding ring! A source close to the couple told the UK’s Daily Mail, “I don’t know when they’ll announce the split or why they got married in the first place but they are done. They are divorcing. Kim has been staying in a New York hotel which Kris has failed to visit.”

16.5 carat rock down the drain just to tap that ass. All that money spent for nothing. Look at that ridiculous picture above. I can’t tell who the real jackass is in that pic. You’re banging Kim Kardashian but still want to chase after NBA groupies. And on top of that, dude didn’t even know that Kim was married before. Do you Google dumbass?

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Oh, and by the way, Kim took mad loads to the face from Ray-J. Shocking, I know.

Props to this kid for living out his fantasy via Photoshop.  Personally, I would have gone with the “face down – ass up” pose.

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I’ll take two Kim Kardashian 3D prints to go. You know, just in case I “break” the first one……

I’m still a doubter. There is only one way to put this rumor to rest and that’s for Kim to drive down to San Diego and let me put my freelance Doctorate to use. I’ve got some special tools, one specifically, that can probe far and deep and validate whether or not Kim’s turd cutter is 100% real.

Looks like a hit marker showed up in the x-ray as well.  Might be some of Ray-J still left over deep inside her walls.  I’d hit it.

Word on the Internets™ is that Reggie Bush is knocking the bottom out of this 21 year old named Claudia Sampedro. You’ll be quick to notice that she possess some of the same characterASStics as Reggie’s ex, Kim Kardashian.

Reggie made a smart move by not putting that ring on Kim’s finger. Look at the shit she already has her fiance doing….

I’d hit it.

Enjoy that body while it lasts fellas. Kim K is officially off the market after sub-par NBA baller Kris Humphries put a 16.5 carat emerald cut diamond ring on her finger – flanked by pair of 2 carat diamonds on either side. That’s 20 carats of ice on the hand that stroked Ray J, Reggie Bush, Nick Lachey, and the valet at the Marriott on Wilshire.

I guess even NBA players who have averaged 5.6 points per game over the span of 6 years can still pull ass with the best of them. Once she gets pregnant, it’s all over. Her ass won’t be able to take the strain and those hips will widen out.

It’s been a good run, Kim. I’ll always remember the good times we had. Not looking forward to the one-piece bikinis that are in you future.